EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Kevin Alejandro

This is the exceptionally sexy AND charming latino actor, KEVIN ALEJANDRO.

We do NOT forget the love for latin men on this forum - LOL. Noooo. We LOVE latin men!!!

Kevin is one VERY busy actor. Until recently, he was one of the stars of the TNT hit show, SOUTHLAND.

So this hurts a bit that this post is in tribute to Kevins' Southland character, Nate Moretta, who was recently killed off the series. He was a REGULAR, but....so it goes as in real life; one moment you're here, the next second, gone.

His character on the show was a successful  and happy family man, deeply in love with his wife, loves his children, his career a great detective and friend to Sammy, his partner and an all around super-awesome guy; not to mention, completely SU-WEEEET to look at. Southlands' Facebook Page has been littered with anger and grief over his demise.

This seems to be a regular thing for Kevins' roles lately, getting killed off. He's been killed of Ugly Betty, Sons of Anarchy, Sleeper Cell {Showtime} and now Southland.

I suppose I could get my fill of him on his other current hit show, TRUE BLOOD {HBO}; but I don't like gore as entertainment, so I'll sit that one out and just ogle at his gorgeous face until his next role.

CONTROVERSY - THE PERILS OF DATING: Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Ok...by now, we've all seen the commercials for EHarmony.com or Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc., etc....

Everyone...is looking for someone it seems. There are a lot of single people out there, a lot of divorces happening...but regardless, everyone wants to be loved. Some, by more than a few people, but thats a whole other post. LOL.


It's an inherent human need....to be loved. Its also a need to be wanted and desired.

In researching for this post, I delved into the behaviorism of my single/divorced friends and colleagues and I also thought back to my own single-dom. It actually taught me a few things. I'm always willing to learn, as long as it teaches me something, whether good or bad...and these are the few things I've learned. This is only my opinion on this; I'm sure you have your own. ;)


SELF CONFIDENCE VS. PRETENSE:  It seems good intentions come right outta the gate when trying to date/mate. With mostly good intentions, people do try to "connect" with someone else. They seek in each other, similarities, traits, desires, lifestyles, attractiveness, etc. However in doing this, it seems these two well-intentioned people end up {whether purposely or non-intentionally} misleading each other as to who they really are. They do this by putting only their positive attributes forward during their first meeting{s}. Now, of course you shouldnt be dishing on your or others' negative aspects {we all have them} and they will be brought forth eventually---at least, by the honest people who are serious about a relationship. But, some....level of that truly honest part of yourself SHOULD be forthcoming BEFORE you can truly move forward in dating or to develop a good relationship. Because most people withhold this information, the next scenario inevitably happens, which is the biggest destructive vice of all.

DISHONESTY:...is born out of the ashes of not being honest, LOL. Some wear their hearts on their sleeves and others just wanna hide, surprise, deny, cheat or defy.

For instance, if you're married, you have no business nor right trying to date; if you even feel the need for something/someone else, self-reflect and figure out why, THEN make a decision to either re-kindle your current marriage {if possible} OR become single FIRST, then date.

Another is....if you're "dating" others, its only moral, ethical and fair to inform those you are also dating of your practice...especially if there's physical intimacy going on.

Also, if you don't feel a connection or attraction OR if you know this is someone you could try to like but really actually don't, then you should be honest enough {not just with this person, but with yourself} to leave the situation {hopefully} as a friendly one and not give false hope nor credence to a future with this person. Its NOT a good situation for either party and a monumental waste BOTH of your time, you life and your emotions, which could lead to cheating, divorce, violence, hurt feelings, etc. It can get really ugly.

A further example is getting someone by dishonesty...whether man/woman sharing, cheating or playing games or playing people against each other, its a deal breaker for most and a regretful course of events that leaves a trail of bitterness, regret, anger and REAL broken hearts. Be HONEST...if you're lying to yourself, how and WHY should anyone else believe in you.


Patti Stanger {The Millionaire Matchmaker...yeah, yeah...I like her; a lot of her statements bear true...she needs to take her own advice to see if it works...LOL} has said this once and I believe it also: 

"How the relationship FIRST starts sets the precedent for the REST OF that relationship." 

It's true. If it starts with honesty and really true emotions, it has a much MUCH higher chance of success. Its not gonna be all roses and sunshine all the time, its not a perfect world...but, as opposed to starting it in a dishonest way, it will HIGHLY and most likely end in dismal FAILURE.


If its lies in the beginning, the relationship may be full of lies. If you cheat in the beginning, it MAY continue. If you weren't in love, its not likely to change...it may, but it may follow yrs and yrs of painful adjustments and indiscretions. One person I know is only in her marriage for the sake of her children alone. If it weren't for her children, she would NOT be with this man.

Not ideal situations in any of those cases...although, they could be salvaged if both parties were COMPLETELY HONEST or they were at least honest with themselves. HONESTY...is the BEST policy.

DATING VS. MARRIAGE: A lot of people think that dating means they should just continue to date for years until they are ready..or they may NEVER be ready. That's fine too, if you choose to date for the rest of your life...but REMEMBER THIS: 

If you're NOT married, then you're single...even if you're dating someone, you AND THEY are still LEGALLY single; hopefully, monogamous, but still SINGLE. Even, if you date for a long period of time before you marry, you are more likely to end up in divorce or split up...go figure. {see the Patti statement above for that one; although never-married Patti also just ended her engagement after SIX YEARS; she's now complaining about being too old {she's 49, I believe} to have her own children after wasting years with this man and others. This happens ALL THE TIME.

Its not that difficult to steal someone who only "dating" someone else. Why can't they see someone else, they are single, right...no?! Some may call that a committed relationship, but its really another form of still "dating" that person. AGAIN....this may be fine and this certainly isnt calling dating couples serial cheaters, but...they fact remains, they are single. I know some may be up in arms about this, but...it is what it is.

What is the definition of dating? Your either know or you don't...be HONEST. How long are you gonna date someone who is really...SINGLE. AND...if you are single, what is the hold up? They {or you} could be looking elsewhere and you are just...dating and waiting...for?! what exactly. There should be a purpose to dating {which is marriage}. You should get to know each other and at least be monogamous, but remember, within a reasonable period of time, you should know whether this has a marital future or not and MOVE FORWARD. Otherwise, you're taking a real chance of wasting your life...for real. I've heard of people dating for ten YEARS, then breaking up...what a WASTE..of your LIFE. You can NOT get that back---AND that is also your youth, child-bearing age {for women}, its NOT a good idea at all to waste your life wondering, running wild....and NOT settling down. 


This is the vetting that the very gifted Evia Moore talks about...for women, but this also applies to men. There's a period in your life when you run wild, but time NOT ONLY sneaks up on you, it flies by before you even know it.


For those who are against marriage, that's fine. As long as you realize {or ignore} that you're dating or "in a long-term relationship" with a SINGLE person; you are single also and marriage may be just a piece of paper, so that's cool if that's what you prefer....it really is. 

If you are against marriage, don't write me saying you're against my view of dating...as you have a choice and an opinion, I also have mine. 

I know someone who was dating a man for four years...she came home one day, he moved out and was quickly ENGAGED {and eventually married} to someone else...I comforted her, but had also told her previously that she had no foundation with this man...he was one of those who considered himself single {and HE WAS} and moved on...she merely kept him company until he found what he wanted. Sad, but true.

And NO...being in a dating relationship is NOT the same as being married...having a girlfriend/boyfriend is NOT the same as having a wife/husband. For those who don't know the difference, there's no words to help you understand it...you have to KNOW it.


Husband/Wife have not only legal protections, but also made a commitment to each other in front of God, family and friends. Even atheists get married. It's not just a piece of paper, its an institution, it's a feeling of belonging to another, its CHILDREN, hearth, HEART and HOME. Its an exclusive of pride and a sense of belonging, not just to each other, but a very enviable part of society that even those who are NOT allowed to marry want to be a part of.....IF it is rooted in HONESTY and LOVE. And don't start on the statistics of one out of two marriages or more ending in divorce...if HONESTY and PURE LOVE were at the forefront, those statistics would be lower; also re-read the dishonesty post aforementioned for other a few other reasons why this may be...nothing is foolproof nor perfect...AND one out of the two DOES work, that's FIFTY PERCENT...look at the positive and keep your mind positive.


This isn't knocking single people out there, though...not AT ALL. Its their CHOICE. But legally, boyfriend/girlfriend share their emotions, bodies...they even share kids...they share a house or apartment, coffeemaker and cars, perhaps...they share THINGS and an UNDERSTANDING {or not}....and the truth actually is...people that "date" break up at an astronomical rate more than those who are married, because its more short term {one to three dates, perhaps to weeks to months to yrs...but MUCH more frequent than marriages}. Its just not as recorded nor reported. Some do work and marry and live happily ever after...some even NEVER marry and live happily ever after...its not impossible, but highly unlikely.

It's important to know that you're actually ready for a relationship with hopes of marriage or lifetime dating if that's what you prefer. YES, it is about compromise...no one person is perfect and exactly what we were looking for; heck, we are NOT perfect.

You've watched Judy Judy...all those programs. First thing she asks is if they had a RELATIONSHIP...that they dated for X amount of years....and then they split up PROPERTY, she scorns them about playing house then asking the courts to make it fair...and it cant even be done fairly in most cases because its all materialistic in nature. Its THINGS.

That's the bottom line, though....that's what dating is in comparison to marriage and not just from a legal standpoint.


DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME: It all seems like all fun and games; don't get me wrong, you should have your fun...life is about having fun...but its not ALL ABOUT playing games or wasting time. There comes a time to grow up and take steps to plan and secure your future. 

From about {age 23-27 for women, 28 for men to about age 35 for women, 36-40+ for men}...those ages of people seem to go through each other like changing their clothes...playing games, cheating, abandonment, wasting time, just kickin' it, being irresponsible, etc., etc. Then, before you know it, you reach adulthood and the landscape has changed, you're looking back at your life wondering where the time and possibilities has gone and what to do now.


Yes, people change and life happens...but if the foundation of the love you've chosen is solid, it is but another challenge for you to overcome. Easier said than done, of course, but not impossible. Love does conquer all...IF it is LOVE rooted in HONESTY.

COMMUNICATION: There are a lot of people playing games out there...in this age of technology, its a dag-gone NASTY place to date. The degrading art of texting is just one example...people cheating by texting, breaking up by texting, SEXTING, its just a slippery slope of shame.

Social networking sites has really done a GREAT disservice to human interaction and behavior as well...it has been nothing less than destructive and dividing.

There was and STILL IS a time when people TALKED and SPOKE to each other...its intimate, its straightforward {IF you are HONEST} and a lot can be solved or made clear with honest communication. 

Something like texting does the opposite. Its terribly impersonal as is most online communique. You can't tell TRUE emotions as well through these forums.

Texting is TELLING, not TALKING, not speaking nor even conversing...ever notice sometimes when you text, there's never really an end to the conversation nor a reply. It's left unsaid or unaddressed. This certainly wouldn't happen if speaking in person or even on the phone...{save fighting} you wouldn't just walk away and not respond...texting can be fun...but there is NO substitute for human touch, contact or communication.


Communication is personal, one-on-one AND ongoing process that {hopefully} has a means to an end. Its more intimate and therefore a PLUS.

The truth also counts for a TON in effective communication. Its IMPORTANT to be TRUTHFUL in your communication otherwise, again, you're wasting your time and efforts. Who wants to be with a liar and game-player...that shit gets OLD and even despicable once you reach adulthood...and by adulthood, I mean when you look at your life and have the dreams, achievements and loves in your life that you'd always wanted and you're CONTENT with this life you and your significant other has made...{as much as that is possible.}

TRUST YOURSELF: Most times, you're instincts really can tell when you're on to something...and when you're not. For women, this tends to make us want to "stick things out"; for men, this make them want to "fix it"; both scenarios are dangerous and folly to waste your precious time and life on.

Don't lose yourself NOR your ideals in your pursuit of happiness. 


Women....don't ignore what you're gut nor natural born instincts tell us...if its seems too good to be true, it most likely is. If you're already doubtful of his intentions, its probably right to doubt it...OR you allow him to EARN your trust...don't just give the benefit of the doubt...be subtle about it.


Men....you get what you settle for...dating for looks, you're gonna end up with more than you bargained for...more than you can handle OR more than you can afford. Take her for granted, blink and she's gone, she's GONE. Run around or cheat, its coming back at you and much worse than you dished it out and when you least likely expect OR want it to happen; AND guys, it'll most likely be from the one you TRULY loved. Its almost certain to leave you SINGLE...and you don't age in reverse...the older a man gets, the younger he thinks he is and tries to behave.

IN CONCLUSION: It's funny...people have seen these things happen around to others, even to themselves...yet, like lambs to slaughter, they try to make this same non-working conditions or situations work differently to their favor...it rarely if ever does. It's almost like they never learned their lesson...like, they have to learn it the hard way...through experience. 

But, enough about "them". In hindsight, did we....ARE WE making the right decisions; maybe its time to for us to self-reflect. 

Maybe its time to thank God for what you have and not focus on what you think we don't have. Maybe its time to stop playing games with our LIFE and make a solid decision to LIVE, not merely EXIST.

Remember to be HONEST, DON'T SETTLE for anything less than being TRUE to yourself and also COMMUNICATE. 

If its the real deal, you'll KNOW IT when you FEEL IT. And if you don't feel it.....{re-read the above post.}


Good luck.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Sam Worthington

This is the ultra-sexy, A-list actor Sam Worthington.

Charming, rugged and extremely handsome, he was born in England, but raised in Australia.

He is the star of the biggest grossing movie of all time to date, AVATAR. 

By all accounts, Avatar IS an INTERRACIAL movie....count a BIG one for us!! ;) Jake Sully is a white man who leaves his race to join with that of the Na'Vi people not only to fight, but to also be with the ETHNIC {ok, she's black, we all know this} woman he LOVES, Neytiri {played in excellence by the alluringly beautiful actress Zoe Saldana, pictured below with Sam at the premiere for Avatar.}

Sorry, ladies...although he's not married yet, he is in a committed relationship with Natalie Mark.

With his looks, he definitely lives up to his name. Worthington is worth-it-a-TON!!! LOL. I'm giddy with happiness, y'all!!

(pics are the property of their respective owners; no ownership implied nor offered. courtesy of Google images.)

SINGLE....AND STUNNING: Stacey Dash

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the alluring and one of the fountain-of-youth board members, the extremely beautiful and sexy Stacey Dash.

Stacey is an actress, model and mother.

For the men, this STUNNER is single. What are you waiting on...get it together, already. LOL. She has married and dated white men.

For us ladies, Stacey is a reminder for us to keep our game HIGH as we already know how to do....because we all know....black women age GRACEFULLY and BEAUTIFULLY!!! Almost in reverse it seems sometimes.

The BEAUTIFUL Stacey Dash recently turned 45 YEARS OLD!!! She's barely aged in looks for the past 25 YEARS!

This picture speaks VOLUMES for ITSELF!!!!!

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION: When is making out in public considered offensive?

Coming out of this weekend, I couldn't help but notice black female and white male couples are GROWING in numbers. YAAAYYY! We're finally getting the word out and its taking effect.

I saw young couples, married couples w/children and even mature couples.

But one couple in particular really stood out. I took my children to a book fair where, as it turned out, it was more of a senior affair than a family affair. Anyhow, this particular couple must've been in the honeymoon phase of their marriage or just madly in love, because they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

It was cute to see....for about 4 seconds. Then, every other minute, he had his hands on her, holding her, she returns the gesture and they are madly making out!! I'm talking sounds, smacking, grabbing, groping, etc....I have my children there for goodness sakes and this is full view of about 40 or so people in the waiting line alone.

I don't buy it that its a color issue...I've seen many races of people make out in public. A {short} heated moment of kissing passion is sometimes unavoidable and things made of a romance novel, lol. Do it again and with more feeling, you need to go home or get a room, lol. This one, however, got out of hand for sure.

I bring this up because while waiting in line, we are ALL an unwilling audience to this make-out fest and inevitably, ignorance showed its ugly head when someone in this crowd mentions "Oh, I guess this is how "they" act!"

So, I look around of course to see a white woman in her mid-60s, her female friends and their husbands {I believe} all getting a laugh and joke out of this, as well as showing their disdain for...I'm not sure to what exactly, but I have a pretty good idea.

What did her comment mean...that the "they" she was referring to are...1) people in love, 2) young people or 3) the black woman-half of that couple or 4) the interracial couple?

Which one do you think she was referring to? We KNOW what she was referring to...we know.

I applaud this young couple for showing their affection for each other; holding hands, even a kiss would've done plenty to show their affection for each other. However, there is a time AND place for this behavior. Even in public, there is a certain code of decorum and CLASS that should be followed so your display of love is not misconstrued nor deemed questionable nor classless because of your behavior.

Those who are ignorant to interracial relationships that witnessed this will only remember that this black girl was all over some white guy who was grabbing her in public and this is how "they" act. 

In my opinion, their behavior was way out of line....it really was.

But in their blissful ignorance, this crowd will most likely believe she "influenced or made him" {the white male lovebird} behave this way. Because, c'mon...we all know white people NEVER act or behave like that!!! *sarcasm* SMH.

BLACK GIRLS ROCK: Phil Collen, Lead Guitarist for Def Leppard and his wife, Helen.

Back in the day, I had a {white} girlfriend who was OBSESSED with Joe Elliot and the rock band, Def Leppard.

How do I know his name, you might ask? Well, its because Dee {as I'll refer to her} MADE ME memorize his name as her future husband: Mrs. Joe Elliot, Mrs. Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe & Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe Elliot, etc., etc., etc...so, I NEVER forgot his name. LOL.

So, it came as no big surprise when they had a concert coming up,  she got tickets AND BACKSTAGE passes.

Now, although I knew their music AND liked it, the concert venue was TWO hours away...see, some girls could sneak out and go to concerts and whatever...NOT me. My mother was STRICT and I was way too honest to even remotely think of trying to sneak off to a concert in a distant city with about fifty thousand people PLUS go backstage to meet the band.

THAT was the excuse I gave Dee for not going with her. Sure, I could have gone with her...I certainly have the goods to impress...but realistically, what is a good idea? I was very young and I didn't want to be naive either and end up in a bad situation....or become a dang groupie for goodness sakes. LMAO!!!!

The other reason was because they are a WHITE rock-n-roll heavy metal band. ALL white and have tens of thousands of thoroughly obsessed white women with the big long hair that was so praised back then, big boobs, high-waist jean shorts and pancake butts {LMAO} to choose from....or more likely to choose from. NOT TO MENTION....I would DEFINITELY stick out in that crowd.

Ironically, DEE never got to go because she ended up pregnant...{oops, too much sneaking out, lol}...and had to give up her tickets.

Little did I know...I might have had a real chance with what I now know of Def Leppard lead guitarist, Phil Collen.

Phil has been dating and marrying beautiful black women...ALL HIS LIFE!!! He recently married Helen Simmons, a costume designer.


Y'all could have been talkin' to...Colleen Collen. LMAO!!!!!!

VIDEO OF THE DAY: Robin Thicke - Lost Without You

Good afternoon, everyone!!! Just a beautiful video of a beautiful couple to spice up your day. ;)

This is the very sexy Robin Thicke and his uber-gorgeous wife Paula Patton in his video, Lost Without You. ENJOY!!!!

credit to youtube/robinthickeVEVO.

DILEMMA: When Physical Attraction and Love Dont Come Together.

A friend of mine {a black and beautiful woman} recently got hit on by a white man, a red head, about 30 y/o while we were out together.

He joined us and was a really nice guy, it seemed: successful {bio-tech}, single, confident, funny, attractive.

He was really into my friend, who thought he was a cool guy...but he's a red head and she cant do it. CAN NOT do it, she said...thats a deal breaker. WHAT?!

She wasn't having it, not even to consider a date. She was not ATTRACTED to him at all. You should have seen them together, laughing carrying a conversation. She didn't mind at all hanging out with him, so I tried to excuse myself, but she wouldn't let me go. She couldn't get past his looks, saying he was "friend material" so it went nowhere. It kinda ticked me off too because she's always complaining that she cant find anyone, yet she blatantly dismissed this one without blinking an eye.


Yes, I know...who knows if it would have gone anywhere...but when you're single and looking, is it not worth a shot at least?

On the other hand...I have a white male friend who just LOST his relationship with his girl because he CHEATED on her--he not physically attracted to her but he "loves" her; so he was with her for love and cheated for physical reasons?!

Naturally, I called him a dog for what he did...but what about my girl friend? Isn't she being fickle as well? She liked everything about this guy, but threw him away because he wasnt Gilles Marini *sigh*...um, yeah. Oh, lets continue.

In my opinion, they've both squandered their opportunities because of what they thought it should look like, not what it actually was. 

Shoot, we'd ALL like to have the whole package...some of us do GET that package. I mean, my gurl didn't cheat like {my male friends'} lousy a*s did; but she cheated herself of an opportunity, I think.

So, am I missing something? Everyone's playing games; its all fun and games until they're 35 and looking back wondering what happened to the last 10 years of their life and why there's no one there to share it with them.
  
In search of perfection, did they...or are we all guilty of choosing physical attraction over love...can one survive without the other?

The last laugh may be on them though...shes still single and so is my male friend.

RETRO GODDESS: Interracial Couples - Diahann Carroll & Vic Damone

This is the outstandingly beautiful and talented actress and singer, the lovely Diahann Carroll.




 

Diahann, born Carol Diahann Johnson, married Vic Damone in 1986 {they divorced in 1996}.

 She was previously romantically linked to the VERY high profile &  EXTREMELY talented actor, Sidney Poitier. 


Diahann made her screen debut in Carmen Jones as  the "left behind" Cindy Lou opposite ANOTHER fine retro goddess of the time, Dorothy Dandridge {who was the lead in Carmen Jones}.

Diahann first married at age twenty, to an agent named Monte Kay, which produced a daughter, Suzanne Kay Bamford, a journalist. Coincidentally, Suzanne is also in an interracial marriage.

Diahann also introduced the first interracial black female and white male relationship to the 1980's hit TV show, Dynasty, as Blake Carrington's half-sister. Dominique Devereaux.



Dominique makes her entrance on this wildly successful series in 1984 as a rival {and a REALLY GOOD ONE} against Alexis Carrington Colby.
 
She once had a past affair with Garret Boydsten {Ken Howard}, a married man, which ended when he refused to leave his wife.



It is only much later, on their wedding day, that its revealed to Dominique that Garrett was NEVER married, he just didn't want to commit to HER back then; however, its futile. Dominique DUMPS Garrett for good.

COUPLE OF THE DAY: Rosario Dawson & Mathieu Schreyer

Todays featured couple is the very beautiful actress Rosario Dawson & her boyfriend, Mathieu Schreyer.

 Rosario was in a previous relationship with actor Jason Lewis {Smith Jerrod on Sex and the City}.

Before that, she was rumored to have dated actor Joshua Jackson {from Dawson's Creek}.

EYE CANDY WISH LIST: Adam Levine

This is Adam Levine, lead singer of the group, Maroon 5.

He's currently linked to a Victoria's Secret goddess, but...we can ogle, cant we?

Here he is, in almost ALL HIS GLORY...YUMMERS!!!

Ladies, look and ENJOY!

INDOCTRINATION: Societal Suppression Of Black Female Beauty, Pt. 1

HOW'S THIS FOR SOME BS!!!

Yesterday when I was researching for a story, I went to Google. I wanted to look for a picture of black women arguing and mistakenly hit the web search box instead of images.

So, I googled the following statement: black women ar....

And before I could even FINISH the sentence, a bunch of "auto-statements" popped up below it.


The statements that popped up beneath my "almost" sentence included:

 "Black women are unattractive"
"Black women are the mules of the world"
"Black women are mean"

THIS....is what comes up on the worlds most popular search engine...about US.


NOW...in VAST CONTRAST to this, if you google "white women ar..", you'll see:

"White women are beautiful"
"White women are the best"

OR...


"Latin women are hot"
"Latin women are the most beautiful"

WAIT...ONE MORE.

"Asian women are beautiful"
"Asian women are the MOST Beautiful"

Get it??? Yeah, RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{deep breath} I was...LIVID. 
 
When...and WHY was it decided to tell ANY woman of color, a black woman, a black girl...that her skin color, that she was BORN into, made her unattractive? Her hair type NOT attractive? Why is this so commonplace and even encouraged in ALL OF society...AGAINST US?

In fairness on Google, though...that white/latin/asian women Google pop-up statement ALSO included: "white women are overrated" and asian women are easy"...NOT the latin women, though. They got all praises in that one...but, i digress.

ONE REASON I can think of...is being a class act. But class can apply to ANY color. So why does OUR black skin automatically disqualify us {in world view} from being respected as a class and race of women, damn it?

This is really nothing new in the black community AND society. Its pervasive in the black community; black men seeking yellow or red-bone black women to dark skinned women. Black women hating on lighter-skinned or VERY dark skinned women. And lets not forget the women in the black community who placate and exasperate the NEGATIVE notion of being a proud,  frequent and forever duplicating out of wedlock and relish in uplifting the recurrent repressionists in the black community.


So, after all that....this how we're being represented? On Google of all places? I didn't check Bing NOR the others. I was already peeved.


There's an article on this blog, about sc-rapper Lil Wayne chastising two dark-skinned models about being pretty BUT dark-skinned. When one of the models mentioned his 12 year old daughter also being dark skinned, Wayne brags that his 12 year old daughter is a dark skinned millionaire, which is why shes better than other dark skinned girls. He also cleared up that {his 12 year old daughter} is THE LAST dark-skinned child he's having, adding to his countless illegitimate children by his brothel of 8-12 baby mommas, who are mostly light-skinned women, even asians, he brags.


Lil Wayne is as black as black can be...even blacker. Wayne is the EPITOME of THUG GHETTO black and he can easily be considered what i call a "cancer" on the black community...having MULTIPLE OOW children, thug life, criminal behavior including prison time, etc. He's certainly no model citizen.

Yet, he can easily dismiss an entire class of women as "too dark". He's not the only one, there are many others black males who've LOUDLY and PROUDLY denounced BLACK WOMEN are not attractive enough for them.

But, that's just FINE. That's their choice and a blessing in disguise as that's LESS black women having children out of wedlock by these fool NOR being married by them; at least, the dark-skinned ones.

It is NOT alright to suppress us. Nor it is alright to demean us. This is just not acceptable. This has to STOP.

We, as black women, are SO BEAUTIFUL. WE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. 


All shades of us, from the darkest skin shade to the very lightest shade.

ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Society's obvious denunciation of us is being challenged...by those of us who are rising ABOVE the stigma of this myth apparent that this same society has pushed onto the masses in an {unfortunately successful} attempt to vilify and demean us.

I believe it's because there are is an uprising of recent...its been brewing, but now its RISING.

And "they" know it...they see this happening and they are stepping up their efforts to quash us.

It futile. I think they already know this, but they're gonna try anyway; because THEIR survival depends on OUR suppression. But we're not gonna let them have it. NO.

That time is OVER.


This uprising is of a NEW CLASS of black women; this class of women are getting the most exposure to AND we're showing the world that we are NOT what they have been told we are or were.

That we ARE attractive and DESIRABLE, EDUCATED and SUCCESSFUL women.

We in this uprising class are ALSO speaking to those who dont have access to this exposure; those include the young women who DONT KNOW how to dismiss this degradation of them, those young women who believe they have to settle for little, nothing or for a poverty-stricken lifestyle and to those who just WANT OUT!!!

We are reaching out to tell them: WE LOVE YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. RESPECT YOURSELF.

Don't let ANYONE take you for granted.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Is being in an interracial relationship "labeling" yourself?

I ran across an odd situation and im not quite sure what to make of it. Its been on my mind a bit today, so...maybe you all can help me out here.

...A black woman, in an interracial relationship, became hostile...i mean, IRATE!!! at the notion that her relationship/marriage was...acknowledged as interracial.

It all came about at a party this past weekend when someone brought up the fact that she prefers to be in an interracial relationship; like hers {referring to this woman}.

Ok, maybe not a good choice of words from this particular young woman that said this...or, whats the big deal, right. that could have been a compliment. But, nonetheless.

This woman immediately took GREAT offense.

At first, I thought she was joking; but, the more we tried to calm her down or find out what her problem was, the more upset she got....then it was ON, for REAL!!!

You get nine women arguing, the men all disappear and i usually take a Tylenol...or use earplugs...but I was intrigued during this ordeal.

She became even more hostile and expressed nothing less than absolute vitriol and disgust for "interracial sites" or sites purely encouraging interracial relationships such as...white men who love black women or dating in black and white, etc..."Ugghh, how INSULTING!!!", she said.

She believes that in doing the latter, we're labeling ourselves...and how do we expect to be treated "normal" if we label ourselves and she ABSOLUTELY HATES that. She said she's tired of being approached about it, talking about it; to her, her marriage is just like any other, she said...same color couples, same sex couples, etc...NO LABELS, just couples. She was ADAMANT about this!!!

She also stated that she married her husband not only because she loves him, but because hes "a fabulous guy."

So, OK. Good for her.

Really, your {particular} marriage is just like every other couple? Of course it is. That's a good conclusion, isn't it? She's in a monogamous, coupled relationship.

She's married, like other married couples and she doesn't want to be seen NOR regarded in any other manner. Whether she liked it or not, she's IN and interracial relationship.

Almost EVERYONE notices an interracial couple...some places and instances more than others, but it happens all the time.

We don't even need to pronounce it...the mere presence of an interracial couple does.

So, WTF was she being so defensive about, then? AND...denouncing others who may wish to celebrate or co-mingle in an interracial status for themselves?

Sorry for my language...but, that was just...WOW! Ive been laughing ever since.

I'm trying, y'all...I just never imagined an {inside} argument against the term interracial; it was like...what is it??? annoyance??? denial??? WHAT could that possibly be about? Am I thinking too much into it, you guys? HELP ME, here.

My question was: Why so much DEEP hatred for the term itself AND/OR what it represents?

You guys didn't see this maniac...she was a LIVE W-I-R-E!!!!!! LMAO!!! Wow!!!

Her husband finally re-appeared and FULLY backed her up {smart on his part; i think she wears the pants in that relationship...LOL.}

But she had become so unbearable to be around that they ended up LEAVING; she cussed us on they way out, too. LOL!

I'm not sure...WHAT to make of her adverse reaction...or her level of hostility. I mean, she became, VERY HOSTILE during this discussion.

Now...I'm not saying we should all throw parades {save that for our weddings since 42%+ of black women NEVER get married} or wear t-shirts or walk around with posters stating we only date or marry white men.

In my own thoughts on what happened with this woman....I think, the statement just hit a nerve with her, I don't know. LOL.

Because, I can't tell if she's just...annoyed at being stared at, noticed or questioned or threatened...maybe judged, or just looking different {or unique}, perhaps; maybe she doesn't WANT to be seen as different, but just as a couple.

Hey, its a nice dream...AND reality for some of us.

That's not asking for too much, is it? Well...IT WAS, for this woman...for this couple.

I suppose she could have handled her dissent with...more class, LOL; but its the level of hostility she had about it that took me by surprise.

Don't worry, y'all...I kept my classy cool...LOL!!!

But....what do you all think? Does she have a point? OR...is she just delusional, or in denial, need counseling? Lol.

We'd all like a perfect world where the {best} choices we made were respected by the masses.

But is that realistic...I don't know her well, and I....don't plan on it in the farthest extended future {lol}...but it does make me wonder.

I know most things exciting need drama to keep going. Thanks to this, I've had my drama...for the MONTH!

NO, thank you!!! LOL. I need a drink!

BETCHA DIDNT KNOW: The Landlord - Interracial 1970s Movie - Jeff Bridges, Pearl Bailey and Diana Sands

The Landlord is a 1970s comedy-drama starring Beau Bridges as the son of a wealthy landlady who takes over managing a building in a black Brooklyn ghetto. Bridges gets involved in the lives of some of his tenants, including the wife (Diana Sands) of a radical (Louis Gossett Jr.). The cast also features Pearl Bailey, Lee Grant, and Robert Klein.

 since this is an older film, you can probably rent this from netflix or blockbuster online.

ORRRRRR!!!! you can watch it, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW; compliments of youtube poster tranmere789. luckily, this youtuber has this entire movie, in 10-minute parts, about 14 parts. you'll see them to the left when you watch.



Let me just say....i LOVED IT!!!! LOVED IT!!!! LOL!! It was a real good time watching this old school flick...but i like vintage and older stuff anyway...so, this was right up my alley. ENJOY!!

Allison Blake & Sheriff Jack Carter: EUREKA {TV Series, SyFy Network}

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!   HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Gonna jumps right back into the swing of things here, because...I'm READY to...lets get this ON! LOL.


SO....tonight, I'm featuring Allison Blake {played by actress Salli Richardson-Whitfield} and Sheriff Jack Carter {played by actor Colin Ferguson} for the hugely successful series on the SyFy network, Eureka.

The story is about having the best minds in the US military tucked away in a remote town where they build futuristic inventions for the governments benefit. 

In the midst of all this is the truly lovable Sheriff Jack Carter. His love interest...the woman of his DREAMS...is the brilliant Allison Blake.





Season after season, from dramas' sake of course, Jack has been loving and desiring Allison from afar. Although she feels the same, we see this mostly from his point of view and its very obvious....Jack has been in love with Allison from the very first time they meet.

Through endless flirtation, relationship after relationship, even a "pregnancy" and numerous experimental events gone awry, its not until this most recent last season that Jack and Allison finally admit their love for another. But...we'll see how long that lasts....as the drama continues.


GORGEOUS IR couple; BRILLIANT for SyFy to place a BLACK actress in the lead for their most successful series. GREAT SHOW!!!


{clip borrowed from youtube, credit to its owner. no ownership implied nor suggested. removed upon request from its poster/owner.}