RETRO GODDESS: Interracial Couples - Minnie Riperton & Richard Rudolph

This is the FIVE-AND-A-HALF-OCTAVES range, INCREDIBLY TALENTED and VERY BEAUTIFUL...the late, GREAT MINNIE RIPERTON.

Her stunning blend of opera, r&b, pop, rock and gospel arrangements created such awe & jaw-dropping music, it really hasn't been duplicated since.

Aside from her various hits, Riperton is perhaps best remembered today for her ability to sing in the whistle register, in which she had rare facility.

She has also been credited for her ability to sustain notes in the sixth and seventh octave for long periods of time, as in Reasons, Could It Be I'm in Love, Adventures in Paradise, and Inside My Love and also Love Me Now with the Rotary Connection. In her recordings. Riperton's highest recorded note reached in the whistle register was F7 on the third scale of You Take My Breath Away Minnie reached this extremely high note before on an early recording of Teach Me How To Fly and Could It Be I'm In Love.

Her ability to imitate many instruments helped lead to Riperton's discovery while she was a secretary at Chess Records. She has some 60's songs, although she is best known for her 70's hits such as "Loving You", "Back Down Memory Lane", "If I Ever Lose This Heaven", just to name a few others.

Mariah Carey has noted Minnie as one of her inspirations as they BOTH have HIGH OCTAVE ranges.

Minnie was married to songwriter and music producer Richard Rudolph from 1972 until her death in the summer of 1979. They had two children - a son, music engineer Marc Rudolph and the lovely actress/comedienne Maya Rudolph.

Even at SUCH a young age, you can totally tell that is Maya in her fathers' arms in the picture above. Maya looks JUST LIKE her mother, doesn't she...wow.





There's a rumor/fact that says that at the end of the original recording of "Lovin' You", Minnie can be heard whispering lovingly to her young daughter if you listen closely, you can hear her saying..."Maya, Maya, Maya..." {sigh}...Just Beautiful.

In January 1976 Riperton was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a radical mastectomy. By the time of diagnosis, the cancer had metastasized and she was given about six months to live. Despite the grim prognosis, she continued recording and touring. Riperton was one of the first celebrities to go public with her breast cancer diagnosis, but did not disclose that she was terminally ill. In 1977, she became spokesman for the American Cancer Society.

She died in her husband Richards' arms at Cedars Sinai in Los Angeles at the age of 31 on July 12, 1979.

Her widower, Richard, is shown here in more recent pictures.

I have personally visited Minnie Ripertons' grave  at the Westwood Village Memorial Park Cemetary in Los Angeles, California...and YES, I took pictures. It's a VERY popular cemetary with a HUGE HOST of some of the WORLDS MOST FAMOUS residents. 

As shown, her headstone is inscribed with the lyrics of her most famous song..."Lovin' You, Is Easy 'Cause Your Beautiful." She really was.

{All pictures and videos are the property of their respective owners. No ownership implied.}

INTERRACIAL COUPLE{S} WATCH - TV - SOUTHLAND

THIS is the AWESOME cast of the TNT hit series, SOUTHLAND.

I LOVE, ADORE, ADMIRE AND I'M ENTRALLED with this show. 

The writing is OFF THE HOOK, the acting, SUPERB. I can't say enough praise and I HIGHLY recommend it.

As you may {or may not} know, SOUTHLAND first aired on NBC...but since they "lack a pair", they canceled it and the smart folks at TNT picked it up, ordered additional episodes and we fans have been thoroughly entertained by some incredibly raw, pure and VERY WELL written drama for the past three months.

The focus of this particular post is the "watch" for two interracial couples on this series. It may happen, it may not. 

 
These IR "pairings" are between Det. Lydia Adams {played to perfection by the incredibly GORGEOUS Regina King} and the romantic interest of her by Officer Rodrigo Morales....the other is with training Officer Ben Sherman and Kaya {the waitress, black}. These scenes were from episode eight and nine, which recently aired.

Now, let's start with Ben and Kaya, because that was more...flirting. But I'm mentioning this ...well, for obvious reasons; it is an interracial pairing. But is also underscores the ability of black women to SUCCESSFULLY "flirt" with white men. I'd hoped I could show you this scene, because it was effortless and kinda brilliant to see in action. 

I will excerpt it here, as best as I can, along with the pics to show the scene.

OFFICER BEN SHERMAN & KAYA

Ben is eating breakfast in a diner at the counter and Kaya is his waitress. The seat next to Ben is his partners', John...who is in the "john", and Johns' breakfast is sitting there getting cold.


Anyway...Kaya goes to refill Bens' coffee and asks him..."Can I get you anything else?"

Ben replies, "No, I'm fine."

"Well, that's certainly true," replies Kaya, to which Ben takes notice, they SMILE at each other and begin flirtatious small talk of sorts. Kaya learns Ben is ready to get off probation as a training officer, Ben learns Kaya wants to sing, likes football, has older brothers and her father is a cop. Ben is INTERESTED.

There's one point where Kaya has to tend to her other patrons and she tells Ben she'll be back, to which Ben replies, "Well, I hope so." Kaya laughs and it's really cute to see them flirt.

When Bens' partner re-appears from the restroom, he declines to eat and exits, ending Bens' time with Kaya. Ben pays the bill, tells Kaya to keep the change and turns to leave.


HOWEVER, Kaya insists he take his receipt, which he at first declines until she hands it to him, clearly displaying her phone number on this receipt...Ben HAPPILY accepts it. This was EXTREMELY cute to watch.

There's TWO things to point out about this particular pairing/scene:


FIRST: Ben is an ultra-wealthy, WHITE man. His family is wealthy and Ben chooses to be a cop. He has been paired with white and latin women, even a "cougar"...LOL. Those were all to no avail..but this was a natural interaction between these two, so, we'll see what happens. Now, this may lead nowhere {with Kaya}, but it would be VERY interesting to watch!! Unfortunately, we may have to wait on this, because there is only ONE EPISODE LEFT for this season. Let's hope it at least gets started.

SECOND: A lot of black women ask all the time how they would "know" if a white man would be interested in dating a black woman and a scene like this SHOWS....this is extremely plausible. I can tell you ... Ben wasn't wearing a sign on him that said "all can apply". It was Kayas' CONFIDENCE that told her...hey, that guy is fine; I want me some. LOL. And she went "after"  it...Ben ALMOST LEFT without asking for her number...he was LEAVING, even though they had chemistry...it was Kaya who took the initiative and gave him her number. 

CONFIDENCE...is the biggest turn-on!!! Remember that.


DET. LYDIA ADAMS & OFFICER RODRIGO MORALES

Det. Adams is at the firing range and Ofc. Morales is a firearms training officer. Lydia admires and overhears Rodrigos' technique AND sees his shooting abilities {Lydia even uses one of Rodrigos pointers during a life-threatening situation which SAVES HER LIFE later in this episode}. 


Lydia asks Rodrigo for advice, which he gladly gives her. The moment they meet and introduce themselves, you can see the sparks between them. Lydia smiles, bright and wide, and appreciates his advice. Rodrigo checks Lydia OUT, thoroughly, LOL; they BOTH check each other out!!!

Later, Rodrigo stops by Lydias' desk to ask her out, which she almost turns down but finally accepts.

For those of us who watch this show, we WANT THIS for Lydia...its been tough on her "relationship-wise" AND friendship-wise...so this feel RIGHT...right off the bat. We want her to get this, to have this.

UNFORTUNATELY...turns out Rodrigo is...**SPOILER ALERT**...Lydias' PARTNERS' SON.


Of course, Rodrigo knew this, but Lydia did NOT. Rodrigo believes they are both adults and this shouldn't be a problem, but...c'mon. He's her partners' KID...CHILD...BABY, no matter how old. LOL.

Ya can't screw yours friends' grown kids...no matter what...right? Its' just....WRONG. LOLOL. I guess, you know, they are adults and this could really be good. But, I think Lydia at least needs to change partners first. Then...it wouldn't be so bad, I guess. I'm rationalizing of course, LOL. Why not, who knows. Everybody is SOMEBODY'S KID.


ANYWAY...check out SOUTHLAND on TNT, Tuesday nights, 10PM eastern. EXCELLENT SHOW....EXCELLENT!!!

CONTROVERSY - THE PERILS OF DATING: Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Ok...by now, we've all seen the commercials for EHarmony.com or Match.com, Chemistry.com, etc., etc....

Everyone...is looking for someone it seems. There are a lot of single people out there, a lot of divorces happening...but regardless, everyone wants to be loved. Some, by more than a few people, but thats a whole other post. LOL.


It's an inherent human need....to be loved. Its also a need to be wanted and desired.

In researching for this post, I delved into the behaviorism of my single/divorced friends and colleagues and I also thought back to my own single-dom. It actually taught me a few things. I'm always willing to learn, as long as it teaches me something, whether good or bad...and these are the few things I've learned. This is only my opinion on this; I'm sure you have your own. ;)


SELF CONFIDENCE VS. PRETENSE:  It seems good intentions come right outta the gate when trying to date/mate. With mostly good intentions, people do try to "connect" with someone else. They seek in each other, similarities, traits, desires, lifestyles, attractiveness, etc. However in doing this, it seems these two well-intentioned people end up {whether purposely or non-intentionally} misleading each other as to who they really are. They do this by putting only their positive attributes forward during their first meeting{s}. Now, of course you shouldnt be dishing on your or others' negative aspects {we all have them} and they will be brought forth eventually---at least, by the honest people who are serious about a relationship. But, some....level of that truly honest part of yourself SHOULD be forthcoming BEFORE you can truly move forward in dating or to develop a good relationship. Because most people withhold this information, the next scenario inevitably happens, which is the biggest destructive vice of all.

DISHONESTY:...is born out of the ashes of not being honest, LOL. Some wear their hearts on their sleeves and others just wanna hide, surprise, deny, cheat or defy.

For instance, if you're married, you have no business nor right trying to date; if you even feel the need for something/someone else, self-reflect and figure out why, THEN make a decision to either re-kindle your current marriage {if possible} OR become single FIRST, then date.

Another is....if you're "dating" others, its only moral, ethical and fair to inform those you are also dating of your practice...especially if there's physical intimacy going on.

Also, if you don't feel a connection or attraction OR if you know this is someone you could try to like but really actually don't, then you should be honest enough {not just with this person, but with yourself} to leave the situation {hopefully} as a friendly one and not give false hope nor credence to a future with this person. Its NOT a good situation for either party and a monumental waste BOTH of your time, you life and your emotions, which could lead to cheating, divorce, violence, hurt feelings, etc. It can get really ugly.

A further example is getting someone by dishonesty...whether man/woman sharing, cheating or playing games or playing people against each other, its a deal breaker for most and a regretful course of events that leaves a trail of bitterness, regret, anger and REAL broken hearts. Be HONEST...if you're lying to yourself, how and WHY should anyone else believe in you.


Patti Stanger {The Millionaire Matchmaker...yeah, yeah...I like her; a lot of her statements bear true...she needs to take her own advice to see if it works...LOL} has said this once and I believe it also: 

"How the relationship FIRST starts sets the precedent for the REST OF that relationship." 

It's true. If it starts with honesty and really true emotions, it has a much MUCH higher chance of success. Its not gonna be all roses and sunshine all the time, its not a perfect world...but, as opposed to starting it in a dishonest way, it will HIGHLY and most likely end in dismal FAILURE.


If its lies in the beginning, the relationship may be full of lies. If you cheat in the beginning, it MAY continue. If you weren't in love, its not likely to change...it may, but it may follow yrs and yrs of painful adjustments and indiscretions. One person I know is only in her marriage for the sake of her children alone. If it weren't for her children, she would NOT be with this man.

Not ideal situations in any of those cases...although, they could be salvaged if both parties were COMPLETELY HONEST or they were at least honest with themselves. HONESTY...is the BEST policy.

DATING VS. MARRIAGE: A lot of people think that dating means they should just continue to date for years until they are ready..or they may NEVER be ready. That's fine too, if you choose to date for the rest of your life...but REMEMBER THIS: 

If you're NOT married, then you're single...even if you're dating someone, you AND THEY are still LEGALLY single; hopefully, monogamous, but still SINGLE. Even, if you date for a long period of time before you marry, you are more likely to end up in divorce or split up...go figure. {see the Patti statement above for that one; although never-married Patti also just ended her engagement after SIX YEARS; she's now complaining about being too old {she's 49, I believe} to have her own children after wasting years with this man and others. This happens ALL THE TIME.

Its not that difficult to steal someone who only "dating" someone else. Why can't they see someone else, they are single, right...no?! Some may call that a committed relationship, but its really another form of still "dating" that person. AGAIN....this may be fine and this certainly isnt calling dating couples serial cheaters, but...they fact remains, they are single. I know some may be up in arms about this, but...it is what it is.

What is the definition of dating? Your either know or you don't...be HONEST. How long are you gonna date someone who is really...SINGLE. AND...if you are single, what is the hold up? They {or you} could be looking elsewhere and you are just...dating and waiting...for?! what exactly. There should be a purpose to dating {which is marriage}. You should get to know each other and at least be monogamous, but remember, within a reasonable period of time, you should know whether this has a marital future or not and MOVE FORWARD. Otherwise, you're taking a real chance of wasting your life...for real. I've heard of people dating for ten YEARS, then breaking up...what a WASTE..of your LIFE. You can NOT get that back---AND that is also your youth, child-bearing age {for women}, its NOT a good idea at all to waste your life wondering, running wild....and NOT settling down. 


This is the vetting that the very gifted Evia Moore talks about...for women, but this also applies to men. There's a period in your life when you run wild, but time NOT ONLY sneaks up on you, it flies by before you even know it.


For those who are against marriage, that's fine. As long as you realize {or ignore} that you're dating or "in a long-term relationship" with a SINGLE person; you are single also and marriage may be just a piece of paper, so that's cool if that's what you prefer....it really is. 

If you are against marriage, don't write me saying you're against my view of dating...as you have a choice and an opinion, I also have mine. 

I know someone who was dating a man for four years...she came home one day, he moved out and was quickly ENGAGED {and eventually married} to someone else...I comforted her, but had also told her previously that she had no foundation with this man...he was one of those who considered himself single {and HE WAS} and moved on...she merely kept him company until he found what he wanted. Sad, but true.

And NO...being in a dating relationship is NOT the same as being married...having a girlfriend/boyfriend is NOT the same as having a wife/husband. For those who don't know the difference, there's no words to help you understand it...you have to KNOW it.


Husband/Wife have not only legal protections, but also made a commitment to each other in front of God, family and friends. Even atheists get married. It's not just a piece of paper, its an institution, it's a feeling of belonging to another, its CHILDREN, hearth, HEART and HOME. Its an exclusive of pride and a sense of belonging, not just to each other, but a very enviable part of society that even those who are NOT allowed to marry want to be a part of.....IF it is rooted in HONESTY and LOVE. And don't start on the statistics of one out of two marriages or more ending in divorce...if HONESTY and PURE LOVE were at the forefront, those statistics would be lower; also re-read the dishonesty post aforementioned for other a few other reasons why this may be...nothing is foolproof nor perfect...AND one out of the two DOES work, that's FIFTY PERCENT...look at the positive and keep your mind positive.


This isn't knocking single people out there, though...not AT ALL. Its their CHOICE. But legally, boyfriend/girlfriend share their emotions, bodies...they even share kids...they share a house or apartment, coffeemaker and cars, perhaps...they share THINGS and an UNDERSTANDING {or not}....and the truth actually is...people that "date" break up at an astronomical rate more than those who are married, because its more short term {one to three dates, perhaps to weeks to months to yrs...but MUCH more frequent than marriages}. Its just not as recorded nor reported. Some do work and marry and live happily ever after...some even NEVER marry and live happily ever after...its not impossible, but highly unlikely.

It's important to know that you're actually ready for a relationship with hopes of marriage or lifetime dating if that's what you prefer. YES, it is about compromise...no one person is perfect and exactly what we were looking for; heck, we are NOT perfect.

You've watched Judy Judy...all those programs. First thing she asks is if they had a RELATIONSHIP...that they dated for X amount of years....and then they split up PROPERTY, she scorns them about playing house then asking the courts to make it fair...and it cant even be done fairly in most cases because its all materialistic in nature. Its THINGS.

That's the bottom line, though....that's what dating is in comparison to marriage and not just from a legal standpoint.


DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME: It all seems like all fun and games; don't get me wrong, you should have your fun...life is about having fun...but its not ALL ABOUT playing games or wasting time. There comes a time to grow up and take steps to plan and secure your future. 

From about {age 23-27 for women, 28 for men to about age 35 for women, 36-40+ for men}...those ages of people seem to go through each other like changing their clothes...playing games, cheating, abandonment, wasting time, just kickin' it, being irresponsible, etc., etc. Then, before you know it, you reach adulthood and the landscape has changed, you're looking back at your life wondering where the time and possibilities has gone and what to do now.


Yes, people change and life happens...but if the foundation of the love you've chosen is solid, it is but another challenge for you to overcome. Easier said than done, of course, but not impossible. Love does conquer all...IF it is LOVE rooted in HONESTY.

COMMUNICATION: There are a lot of people playing games out there...in this age of technology, its a dag-gone NASTY place to date. The degrading art of texting is just one example...people cheating by texting, breaking up by texting, SEXTING, its just a slippery slope of shame.

Social networking sites has really done a GREAT disservice to human interaction and behavior as well...it has been nothing less than destructive and dividing.

There was and STILL IS a time when people TALKED and SPOKE to each other...its intimate, its straightforward {IF you are HONEST} and a lot can be solved or made clear with honest communication. 

Something like texting does the opposite. Its terribly impersonal as is most online communique. You can't tell TRUE emotions as well through these forums.

Texting is TELLING, not TALKING, not speaking nor even conversing...ever notice sometimes when you text, there's never really an end to the conversation nor a reply. It's left unsaid or unaddressed. This certainly wouldn't happen if speaking in person or even on the phone...{save fighting} you wouldn't just walk away and not respond...texting can be fun...but there is NO substitute for human touch, contact or communication.


Communication is personal, one-on-one AND ongoing process that {hopefully} has a means to an end. Its more intimate and therefore a PLUS.

The truth also counts for a TON in effective communication. Its IMPORTANT to be TRUTHFUL in your communication otherwise, again, you're wasting your time and efforts. Who wants to be with a liar and game-player...that shit gets OLD and even despicable once you reach adulthood...and by adulthood, I mean when you look at your life and have the dreams, achievements and loves in your life that you'd always wanted and you're CONTENT with this life you and your significant other has made...{as much as that is possible.}

TRUST YOURSELF: Most times, you're instincts really can tell when you're on to something...and when you're not. For women, this tends to make us want to "stick things out"; for men, this make them want to "fix it"; both scenarios are dangerous and folly to waste your precious time and life on.

Don't lose yourself NOR your ideals in your pursuit of happiness. 


Women....don't ignore what you're gut nor natural born instincts tell us...if its seems too good to be true, it most likely is. If you're already doubtful of his intentions, its probably right to doubt it...OR you allow him to EARN your trust...don't just give the benefit of the doubt...be subtle about it.


Men....you get what you settle for...dating for looks, you're gonna end up with more than you bargained for...more than you can handle OR more than you can afford. Take her for granted, blink and she's gone, she's GONE. Run around or cheat, its coming back at you and much worse than you dished it out and when you least likely expect OR want it to happen; AND guys, it'll most likely be from the one you TRULY loved. Its almost certain to leave you SINGLE...and you don't age in reverse...the older a man gets, the younger he thinks he is and tries to behave.

IN CONCLUSION: It's funny...people have seen these things happen around to others, even to themselves...yet, like lambs to slaughter, they try to make this same non-working conditions or situations work differently to their favor...it rarely if ever does. It's almost like they never learned their lesson...like, they have to learn it the hard way...through experience. 

But, enough about "them". In hindsight, did we....ARE WE making the right decisions; maybe its time to for us to self-reflect. 

Maybe its time to thank God for what you have and not focus on what you think we don't have. Maybe its time to stop playing games with our LIFE and make a solid decision to LIVE, not merely EXIST.

Remember to be HONEST, DON'T SETTLE for anything less than being TRUE to yourself and also COMMUNICATE. 

If its the real deal, you'll KNOW IT when you FEEL IT. And if you don't feel it.....{re-read the above post.}


Good luck.

PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION: When is making out in public considered offensive?

Coming out of this weekend, I couldn't help but notice black female and white male couples are GROWING in numbers. YAAAYYY! We're finally getting the word out and its taking effect.

I saw young couples, married couples w/children and even mature couples.

But one couple in particular really stood out. I took my children to a book fair where, as it turned out, it was more of a senior affair than a family affair. Anyhow, this particular couple must've been in the honeymoon phase of their marriage or just madly in love, because they couldn't keep their hands off each other.

It was cute to see....for about 4 seconds. Then, every other minute, he had his hands on her, holding her, she returns the gesture and they are madly making out!! I'm talking sounds, smacking, grabbing, groping, etc....I have my children there for goodness sakes and this is full view of about 40 or so people in the waiting line alone.

I don't buy it that its a color issue...I've seen many races of people make out in public. A {short} heated moment of kissing passion is sometimes unavoidable and things made of a romance novel, lol. Do it again and with more feeling, you need to go home or get a room, lol. This one, however, got out of hand for sure.

I bring this up because while waiting in line, we are ALL an unwilling audience to this make-out fest and inevitably, ignorance showed its ugly head when someone in this crowd mentions "Oh, I guess this is how "they" act!"

So, I look around of course to see a white woman in her mid-60s, her female friends and their husbands {I believe} all getting a laugh and joke out of this, as well as showing their disdain for...I'm not sure to what exactly, but I have a pretty good idea.

What did her comment mean...that the "they" she was referring to are...1) people in love, 2) young people or 3) the black woman-half of that couple or 4) the interracial couple?

Which one do you think she was referring to? We KNOW what she was referring to...we know.

I applaud this young couple for showing their affection for each other; holding hands, even a kiss would've done plenty to show their affection for each other. However, there is a time AND place for this behavior. Even in public, there is a certain code of decorum and CLASS that should be followed so your display of love is not misconstrued nor deemed questionable nor classless because of your behavior.

Those who are ignorant to interracial relationships that witnessed this will only remember that this black girl was all over some white guy who was grabbing her in public and this is how "they" act. 

In my opinion, their behavior was way out of line....it really was.

But in their blissful ignorance, this crowd will most likely believe she "influenced or made him" {the white male lovebird} behave this way. Because, c'mon...we all know white people NEVER act or behave like that!!! *sarcasm* SMH.

BLACK GIRLS ROCK: Phil Collen, Lead Guitarist for Def Leppard and his wife, Helen.

Back in the day, I had a {white} girlfriend who was OBSESSED with Joe Elliot and the rock band, Def Leppard.

How do I know his name, you might ask? Well, its because Dee {as I'll refer to her} MADE ME memorize his name as her future husband: Mrs. Joe Elliot, Mrs. Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe & Dee Elliot, Mr. & Mrs. Joe Elliot, etc., etc., etc...so, I NEVER forgot his name. LOL.

So, it came as no big surprise when they had a concert coming up,  she got tickets AND BACKSTAGE passes.

Now, although I knew their music AND liked it, the concert venue was TWO hours away...see, some girls could sneak out and go to concerts and whatever...NOT me. My mother was STRICT and I was way too honest to even remotely think of trying to sneak off to a concert in a distant city with about fifty thousand people PLUS go backstage to meet the band.

THAT was the excuse I gave Dee for not going with her. Sure, I could have gone with her...I certainly have the goods to impress...but realistically, what is a good idea? I was very young and I didn't want to be naive either and end up in a bad situation....or become a dang groupie for goodness sakes. LMAO!!!!

The other reason was because they are a WHITE rock-n-roll heavy metal band. ALL white and have tens of thousands of thoroughly obsessed white women with the big long hair that was so praised back then, big boobs, high-waist jean shorts and pancake butts {LMAO} to choose from....or more likely to choose from. NOT TO MENTION....I would DEFINITELY stick out in that crowd.

Ironically, DEE never got to go because she ended up pregnant...{oops, too much sneaking out, lol}...and had to give up her tickets.

Little did I know...I might have had a real chance with what I now know of Def Leppard lead guitarist, Phil Collen.

Phil has been dating and marrying beautiful black women...ALL HIS LIFE!!! He recently married Helen Simmons, a costume designer.


Y'all could have been talkin' to...Colleen Collen. LMAO!!!!!!

DILEMMA: When Physical Attraction and Love Dont Come Together.

A friend of mine {a black and beautiful woman} recently got hit on by a white man, a red head, about 30 y/o while we were out together.

He joined us and was a really nice guy, it seemed: successful {bio-tech}, single, confident, funny, attractive.

He was really into my friend, who thought he was a cool guy...but he's a red head and she cant do it. CAN NOT do it, she said...thats a deal breaker. WHAT?!

She wasn't having it, not even to consider a date. She was not ATTRACTED to him at all. You should have seen them together, laughing carrying a conversation. She didn't mind at all hanging out with him, so I tried to excuse myself, but she wouldn't let me go. She couldn't get past his looks, saying he was "friend material" so it went nowhere. It kinda ticked me off too because she's always complaining that she cant find anyone, yet she blatantly dismissed this one without blinking an eye.


Yes, I know...who knows if it would have gone anywhere...but when you're single and looking, is it not worth a shot at least?

On the other hand...I have a white male friend who just LOST his relationship with his girl because he CHEATED on her--he not physically attracted to her but he "loves" her; so he was with her for love and cheated for physical reasons?!

Naturally, I called him a dog for what he did...but what about my girl friend? Isn't she being fickle as well? She liked everything about this guy, but threw him away because he wasnt Gilles Marini *sigh*...um, yeah. Oh, lets continue.

In my opinion, they've both squandered their opportunities because of what they thought it should look like, not what it actually was. 

Shoot, we'd ALL like to have the whole package...some of us do GET that package. I mean, my gurl didn't cheat like {my male friends'} lousy a*s did; but she cheated herself of an opportunity, I think.

So, am I missing something? Everyone's playing games; its all fun and games until they're 35 and looking back wondering what happened to the last 10 years of their life and why there's no one there to share it with them.
  
In search of perfection, did they...or are we all guilty of choosing physical attraction over love...can one survive without the other?

The last laugh may be on them though...shes still single and so is my male friend.

INDOCTRINATION: Societal Suppression Of Black Female Beauty, Pt. 1

HOW'S THIS FOR SOME BS!!!

Yesterday when I was researching for a story, I went to Google. I wanted to look for a picture of black women arguing and mistakenly hit the web search box instead of images.

So, I googled the following statement: black women ar....

And before I could even FINISH the sentence, a bunch of "auto-statements" popped up below it.


The statements that popped up beneath my "almost" sentence included:

 "Black women are unattractive"
"Black women are the mules of the world"
"Black women are mean"

THIS....is what comes up on the worlds most popular search engine...about US.


NOW...in VAST CONTRAST to this, if you google "white women ar..", you'll see:

"White women are beautiful"
"White women are the best"

OR...


"Latin women are hot"
"Latin women are the most beautiful"

WAIT...ONE MORE.

"Asian women are beautiful"
"Asian women are the MOST Beautiful"

Get it??? Yeah, RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{deep breath} I was...LIVID. 
 
When...and WHY was it decided to tell ANY woman of color, a black woman, a black girl...that her skin color, that she was BORN into, made her unattractive? Her hair type NOT attractive? Why is this so commonplace and even encouraged in ALL OF society...AGAINST US?

In fairness on Google, though...that white/latin/asian women Google pop-up statement ALSO included: "white women are overrated" and asian women are easy"...NOT the latin women, though. They got all praises in that one...but, i digress.

ONE REASON I can think of...is being a class act. But class can apply to ANY color. So why does OUR black skin automatically disqualify us {in world view} from being respected as a class and race of women, damn it?

This is really nothing new in the black community AND society. Its pervasive in the black community; black men seeking yellow or red-bone black women to dark skinned women. Black women hating on lighter-skinned or VERY dark skinned women. And lets not forget the women in the black community who placate and exasperate the NEGATIVE notion of being a proud,  frequent and forever duplicating out of wedlock and relish in uplifting the recurrent repressionists in the black community.


So, after all that....this how we're being represented? On Google of all places? I didn't check Bing NOR the others. I was already peeved.


There's an article on this blog, about sc-rapper Lil Wayne chastising two dark-skinned models about being pretty BUT dark-skinned. When one of the models mentioned his 12 year old daughter also being dark skinned, Wayne brags that his 12 year old daughter is a dark skinned millionaire, which is why shes better than other dark skinned girls. He also cleared up that {his 12 year old daughter} is THE LAST dark-skinned child he's having, adding to his countless illegitimate children by his brothel of 8-12 baby mommas, who are mostly light-skinned women, even asians, he brags.


Lil Wayne is as black as black can be...even blacker. Wayne is the EPITOME of THUG GHETTO black and he can easily be considered what i call a "cancer" on the black community...having MULTIPLE OOW children, thug life, criminal behavior including prison time, etc. He's certainly no model citizen.

Yet, he can easily dismiss an entire class of women as "too dark". He's not the only one, there are many others black males who've LOUDLY and PROUDLY denounced BLACK WOMEN are not attractive enough for them.

But, that's just FINE. That's their choice and a blessing in disguise as that's LESS black women having children out of wedlock by these fool NOR being married by them; at least, the dark-skinned ones.

It is NOT alright to suppress us. Nor it is alright to demean us. This is just not acceptable. This has to STOP.

We, as black women, are SO BEAUTIFUL. WE ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. 


All shades of us, from the darkest skin shade to the very lightest shade.

ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL.

Society's obvious denunciation of us is being challenged...by those of us who are rising ABOVE the stigma of this myth apparent that this same society has pushed onto the masses in an {unfortunately successful} attempt to vilify and demean us.

I believe it's because there are is an uprising of recent...its been brewing, but now its RISING.

And "they" know it...they see this happening and they are stepping up their efforts to quash us.

It futile. I think they already know this, but they're gonna try anyway; because THEIR survival depends on OUR suppression. But we're not gonna let them have it. NO.

That time is OVER.


This uprising is of a NEW CLASS of black women; this class of women are getting the most exposure to AND we're showing the world that we are NOT what they have been told we are or were.

That we ARE attractive and DESIRABLE, EDUCATED and SUCCESSFUL women.

We in this uprising class are ALSO speaking to those who dont have access to this exposure; those include the young women who DONT KNOW how to dismiss this degradation of them, those young women who believe they have to settle for little, nothing or for a poverty-stricken lifestyle and to those who just WANT OUT!!!

We are reaching out to tell them: WE LOVE YOU. LOVE YOURSELF. RESPECT YOURSELF.

Don't let ANYONE take you for granted.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Is being in an interracial relationship "labeling" yourself?

I ran across an odd situation and im not quite sure what to make of it. Its been on my mind a bit today, so...maybe you all can help me out here.

...A black woman, in an interracial relationship, became hostile...i mean, IRATE!!! at the notion that her relationship/marriage was...acknowledged as interracial.

It all came about at a party this past weekend when someone brought up the fact that she prefers to be in an interracial relationship; like hers {referring to this woman}.

Ok, maybe not a good choice of words from this particular young woman that said this...or, whats the big deal, right. that could have been a compliment. But, nonetheless.

This woman immediately took GREAT offense.

At first, I thought she was joking; but, the more we tried to calm her down or find out what her problem was, the more upset she got....then it was ON, for REAL!!!

You get nine women arguing, the men all disappear and i usually take a Tylenol...or use earplugs...but I was intrigued during this ordeal.

She became even more hostile and expressed nothing less than absolute vitriol and disgust for "interracial sites" or sites purely encouraging interracial relationships such as...white men who love black women or dating in black and white, etc..."Ugghh, how INSULTING!!!", she said.

She believes that in doing the latter, we're labeling ourselves...and how do we expect to be treated "normal" if we label ourselves and she ABSOLUTELY HATES that. She said she's tired of being approached about it, talking about it; to her, her marriage is just like any other, she said...same color couples, same sex couples, etc...NO LABELS, just couples. She was ADAMANT about this!!!

She also stated that she married her husband not only because she loves him, but because hes "a fabulous guy."

So, OK. Good for her.

Really, your {particular} marriage is just like every other couple? Of course it is. That's a good conclusion, isn't it? She's in a monogamous, coupled relationship.

She's married, like other married couples and she doesn't want to be seen NOR regarded in any other manner. Whether she liked it or not, she's IN and interracial relationship.

Almost EVERYONE notices an interracial couple...some places and instances more than others, but it happens all the time.

We don't even need to pronounce it...the mere presence of an interracial couple does.

So, WTF was she being so defensive about, then? AND...denouncing others who may wish to celebrate or co-mingle in an interracial status for themselves?

Sorry for my language...but, that was just...WOW! Ive been laughing ever since.

I'm trying, y'all...I just never imagined an {inside} argument against the term interracial; it was like...what is it??? annoyance??? denial??? WHAT could that possibly be about? Am I thinking too much into it, you guys? HELP ME, here.

My question was: Why so much DEEP hatred for the term itself AND/OR what it represents?

You guys didn't see this maniac...she was a LIVE W-I-R-E!!!!!! LMAO!!! Wow!!!

Her husband finally re-appeared and FULLY backed her up {smart on his part; i think she wears the pants in that relationship...LOL.}

But she had become so unbearable to be around that they ended up LEAVING; she cussed us on they way out, too. LOL!

I'm not sure...WHAT to make of her adverse reaction...or her level of hostility. I mean, she became, VERY HOSTILE during this discussion.

Now...I'm not saying we should all throw parades {save that for our weddings since 42%+ of black women NEVER get married} or wear t-shirts or walk around with posters stating we only date or marry white men.

In my own thoughts on what happened with this woman....I think, the statement just hit a nerve with her, I don't know. LOL.

Because, I can't tell if she's just...annoyed at being stared at, noticed or questioned or threatened...maybe judged, or just looking different {or unique}, perhaps; maybe she doesn't WANT to be seen as different, but just as a couple.

Hey, its a nice dream...AND reality for some of us.

That's not asking for too much, is it? Well...IT WAS, for this woman...for this couple.

I suppose she could have handled her dissent with...more class, LOL; but its the level of hostility she had about it that took me by surprise.

Don't worry, y'all...I kept my classy cool...LOL!!!

But....what do you all think? Does she have a point? OR...is she just delusional, or in denial, need counseling? Lol.

We'd all like a perfect world where the {best} choices we made were respected by the masses.

But is that realistic...I don't know her well, and I....don't plan on it in the farthest extended future {lol}...but it does make me wonder.

I know most things exciting need drama to keep going. Thanks to this, I've had my drama...for the MONTH!

NO, thank you!!! LOL. I need a drink!

afternoon delight: chocolate and vanilla

for your viewing {and dreaming} pleasure, BEAUTIFUL milk chocolate...with a heaping side of vanilla! YUM!


ENJOY!!!!

eye candy wish list: gerard butler

ooooooh, my goodiness....where DO I start....lets first start with the uber-hotness that is, that fine-piece-of-irish-born-arse and major movie studio actor, gerard butler....YUM!

i noticed him here and there....ok, i virtually-STALKED him because---well, LOOK at him...i'd seen him in various roles and such; but i REALLY took notice after seeing him....{takes a deep breath to compose thyself}...in LOIN CLOTH for the majority of the film "300" in which he plays the title character leonidas, the fearless but doomed king of sparta who led the 300 in battle against the evil {and major fugly} xerxes and the persians at thermopylae in 480 b.c.

i was FURTHER ESTATIC to learn that during the press for this movie "300", gerard PROUDLY proclaimed his love, his PREFERENCE for BLACK WOMEN...YAAAAAAY. 

WHAT CAN I ADD TO THAT.....he's a FINE, FINE LOOKING man who knows exotic, BEAUTIFUL WOMEN when he sees them!!! hes dated and had relationships with many women of color, and hes currently dating an ethnic woman right now, laurie cholewa.

you know.....just from reading that press interview, i can {selfishly} assume....that he LOVES the CONTRAST between the warm vanilla of his skin to the luscious chocolate of mine...i mean, ours...{lol}.....it drives him insane with lust and desire, it LIGHTS his FIRE...and from watching the love scene in "300", if that added bonus can stir him up.....{dang, im in fantasyland!!}....i would BEG...no really, i would beg....to be on the receiving end of that....experience....{wheww......} 

just dreamin' out loud here....but it sure does look real good, doesnt it.....;)

betcha didnt know: "love song" interracial tv movie w/r&b songstress monica and actor christian kane

WOW....its been 10 years since i saw this movie...i was excited when it came out. i truly believe monica arnold or MONICA, as she's simply known.... who is a successful r&b singer and actress, took quite the risk in portraying this role back THEN {this came out in 2000}; shes heavily into the r&b culture and even the hip-hop culture....so this might've and most likely did offend some around her...so....i commend her for doing this story...and she did it well...{her acting has gotten better...lol.} 

christian kane and the rest of the supporting cast also did well.


IRONICALLY, i should add....that most the actresses in this movie ARE or has been involved in interracial marriages or relationships.



this movie, love song, is about camille livingston {monicas character} who is from a wealthy background; shes had her whole life planned out. while celebrating her birthday with her two best friends she pulls into a gas station for fuel where she meets a mechanic and aspiring musician, billy ryan gallo {played by actor christian kane, also known for his role on leverage and several major movies} who fills her car.  for him it is love at first sight. however, she repeatedly rejects his advances but their paths cross again later and she inevitably becomes torn between her obedience to the relationship she is in, her future, and her feelings for billy ray. 

set in jazz land new orleans, the score is great, with a mix of jazz, blues and soul AND a great ensemble cast. 

from what i remember about this movie....it was a good watch. the clip ive included from youtube goes right to the romantic part; however, this particular poster does have the ENTIRE movie {in 9 parts, i believe} on youtube, for your viewing enjoyment!! i think i'll watch it again later.

{credit to lashunda84/youtube for the video....i own nothing; no ownership implied and will be removed upon request from its owners.}