Sunday, January 16, 2011

DILEMMA: When Physical Attraction and Love Dont Come Together.

A friend of mine {a black and beautiful woman} recently got hit on by a white man, a red head, about 30 y/o while we were out together.

He joined us and was a really nice guy, it seemed: successful {bio-tech}, single, confident, funny, attractive.

He was really into my friend, who thought he was a cool guy...but he's a red head and she cant do it. CAN NOT do it, she said...thats a deal breaker. WHAT?!

She wasn't having it, not even to consider a date. She was not ATTRACTED to him at all. You should have seen them together, laughing carrying a conversation. She didn't mind at all hanging out with him, so I tried to excuse myself, but she wouldn't let me go. She couldn't get past his looks, saying he was "friend material" so it went nowhere. It kinda ticked me off too because she's always complaining that she cant find anyone, yet she blatantly dismissed this one without blinking an eye.

Yes, I know...who knows if it would have gone anywhere...but when you're single and looking, is it not worth a shot at least?

On the other hand...I have a white male friend who just LOST his relationship with his girl because he CHEATED on her--he not physically attracted to her but he "loves" her; so he was with her for love and cheated for physical reasons?!

Naturally, I called him a dog for what he did...but what about my girl friend? Isn't she being fickle as well? She liked everything about this guy, but threw him away because he wasnt Gilles Marini *sigh*, yeah. Oh, lets continue.

In my opinion, they've both squandered their opportunities because of what they thought it should look like, not what it actually was

Shoot, we'd ALL like to have the whole package...some of us do GET that package. I mean, my gurl didn't cheat like {my male friends'} lousy a*s did; but she cheated herself of an opportunity, I think.

So, am I missing something? Everyone's playing games; its all fun and games until they're 35 and looking back wondering what happened to the last 10 years of their life and why there's no one there to share it with them.
In search of perfection, did they...or are we all guilty of choosing physical attraction over love...can one survive without the other?

The last laugh may be on them though...shes still single and so is my male friend.


  1. At first, I thought that was Dr. Tom after Christina cleaned his clock...but I guess not...And people say I have a one-track mind...
    Your friend needs some re-prioritizing...What's wrong with a red-head?? My former bro-in-law had red hair, & I have a handome red-haired nephew because of it...

  2. honestly, there can be both love and some attraction. i'd be an idiot to try and "hold out" for a david beckham lookalike, but will i have to be physically AND mentally attracted to my mate? you're damn skippy! and I'd WANT them to be very attracted to me as well!

    If your girl is turning down everyone with idiotic nitpicking, then I can see how she could be severly shooting herself in the foot, but if she declines one guy because of no attraction then that's not all that bad. Red haired men aren't attractive to me AT ALL either. When you are talking genetic traits, those can be passed on to your kids, should she potentially have red haired male kids even though she doesn't find red hair attractive? It's no different than not choosing some dude with atrocious teeth or schizophrenia or too short. These are things that can be passed on to children, not like she said that she didn't like his haircut or the car he drives, she's talking genetic things that affect offspring.

    SOMETIMES love grows and attraction grows with it if people click. that's SOMETIMES though....what happens when you like someone's personality and there's no physical attraction but you force the issue what happens when it's time to physically get together? if there are no sparks or sexual feelings, then what? sounds like a friend situation if ever there was one.

  3. @socialitedreams...hey, Miss Vonnie!!! :)

    So, you would turn down Prince Harry, too? LMAO? Is he at least the exception? LOL.

    Prince Harry is FIIIIIIINE!!!!!!! Finer than his brother, for sure, IMO.

    I hear what you're saying. This was her choice. Like I said, who knows where it would've gone.

    I was thinking about missed opportunities so I thought I would ask...thanks, V.!!!

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. @janet....hey, Miss Vartan.

    She was just very sure, he did NOTHING for her attraction wise. I guess, to each their own.

    I wasnt saying she should settle, but maybe just not limit her options. There's definitely a DIFFERENT generational response to this question, though.

    I've gotten private responses from a good age range...the younger ones say no, the mature ones say yes/why not,'s all about the choices we make.

    I know everyone has their preferences...its tough out there, dating and trying to mate.

    I don't miss it.

  6. my overwhelming desire to be titled would definitely get me over the hump of prince harry's red hair :P he is very handsome though, but honestly the only red head male that i can think of that i'm physically into

    i just see things from the point of view that I want pretty good looking children. my mom married the funny cool guy and my dad has jacked teeth that equaled thousands of dollars in braces for me (fail) not to mention ugly teeth UNTIL I could get those braces which i also had to wear during the good years of the end of high school and beginning of college. his skin isn't great either and guess who had to suffer with bad skin? you got it, me and my brother! should i date someone because he's a nice funny guy that i'm not attracted to who will compose 50% of the genetic makeup of my children? NOPE!