Wednesday, January 5, 2011

QUESTION OF THE DAY: Is being in an interracial relationship "labeling" yourself?

I ran across an odd situation and im not quite sure what to make of it. Its been on my mind a bit today, so...maybe you all can help me out here.

...A black woman, in an interracial relationship, became hostile...i mean, IRATE!!! at the notion that her relationship/marriage was...acknowledged as interracial.

It all came about at a party this past weekend when someone brought up the fact that she prefers to be in an interracial relationship; like hers {referring to this woman}.

Ok, maybe not a good choice of words from this particular young woman that said this...or, whats the big deal, right. that could have been a compliment. But, nonetheless.

This woman immediately took GREAT offense.

At first, I thought she was joking; but, the more we tried to calm her down or find out what her problem was, the more upset she got....then it was ON, for REAL!!!

You get nine women arguing, the men all disappear and i usually take a Tylenol...or use earplugs...but I was intrigued during this ordeal.

She became even more hostile and expressed nothing less than absolute vitriol and disgust for "interracial sites" or sites purely encouraging interracial relationships such as...white men who love black women or dating in black and white, etc..."Ugghh, how INSULTING!!!", she said.

She believes that in doing the latter, we're labeling ourselves...and how do we expect to be treated "normal" if we label ourselves and she ABSOLUTELY HATES that. She said she's tired of being approached about it, talking about it; to her, her marriage is just like any other, she said...same color couples, same sex couples, etc...NO LABELS, just couples. She was ADAMANT about this!!!

She also stated that she married her husband not only because she loves him, but because hes "a fabulous guy."

So, OK. Good for her.

Really, your {particular} marriage is just like every other couple? Of course it is. That's a good conclusion, isn't it? She's in a monogamous, coupled relationship.

She's married, like other married couples and she doesn't want to be seen NOR regarded in any other manner. Whether she liked it or not, she's IN and interracial relationship.

Almost EVERYONE notices an interracial couple...some places and instances more than others, but it happens all the time.

We don't even need to pronounce it...the mere presence of an interracial couple does.

So, WTF was she being so defensive about, then? AND...denouncing others who may wish to celebrate or co-mingle in an interracial status for themselves?

Sorry for my language...but, that was just...WOW! Ive been laughing ever since.

I'm trying, y'all...I just never imagined an {inside} argument against the term interracial; it was like...what is it??? annoyance??? denial??? WHAT could that possibly be about? Am I thinking too much into it, you guys? HELP ME, here.

My question was: Why so much DEEP hatred for the term itself AND/OR what it represents?

You guys didn't see this maniac...she was a LIVE W-I-R-E!!!!!! LMAO!!! Wow!!!

Her husband finally re-appeared and FULLY backed her up {smart on his part; i think she wears the pants in that relationship...LOL.}

But she had become so unbearable to be around that they ended up LEAVING; she cussed us on they way out, too. LOL!

I'm not sure...WHAT to make of her adverse reaction...or her level of hostility. I mean, she became, VERY HOSTILE during this discussion.

Now...I'm not saying we should all throw parades {save that for our weddings since 42%+ of black women NEVER get married} or wear t-shirts or walk around with posters stating we only date or marry white men.

In my own thoughts on what happened with this woman....I think, the statement just hit a nerve with her, I don't know. LOL.

Because, I can't tell if she's just...annoyed at being stared at, noticed or questioned or threatened...maybe judged, or just looking different {or unique}, perhaps; maybe she doesn't WANT to be seen as different, but just as a couple.

Hey, its a nice dream...AND reality for some of us.

That's not asking for too much, is it? Well...IT WAS, for this woman...for this couple.

I suppose she could have handled her dissent with...more class, LOL; but its the level of hostility she had about it that took me by surprise.

Don't worry, y'all...I kept my classy cool...LOL!!!

But....what do you all think? Does she have a point? she just delusional, or in denial, need counseling? Lol.

We'd all like a perfect world where the {best} choices we made were respected by the masses.

But is that realistic...I don't know her well, and I....don't plan on it in the farthest extended future {lol}...but it does make me wonder.

I know most things exciting need drama to keep going. Thanks to this, I've had my drama...for the MONTH!

NO, thank you!!! LOL. I need a drink!


  1. Hmm, sounds like she's really upset that her relationship gets noticed. I just want her to wake up and realize she lives in a country that just legalized interracial marriage in VA a little over 50 years ago, and just ended slavery 150 years ago. It's still surprises and intrigues people to see IR couples. Why is she so worried about what other people do, as far as creating IR websites and such? She wouldn't know they were there unless SHE was seeking them out. She didn't yell and scream about 'Black love' websites-don't they 'other' their supporters? We are individuals-we get 'othered' in some way at all times. She needs a chill pill.

  2. Hey, Miss Glam.

    YES, THANK YOU!!! You know, I really wanted to go in on her and REMIND her that she would not be enjoying this marriage of hers without the effort of others. She doesn't have to pretend it doesn't exist and that's what shes doing, pretending.

    She does need some counseling. People like that irk me serious.