Monday, December 6, 2010

what to do? ive been accused of EXCLUSION in my blog!

SOOO sorry i missed my post yesterday, but it wasnt in vain....i was out with my gurls and we got into a crazy discussion about my blog...see, im expanding on my blog because i want to make it & lifestyle encompassing and not just about "bwwm swirling". 

now, of course bwwm coupling WILL continue to be my MAIN FOCUS and feature on this blog.

but therein lies the issue we were discussing: if my main focus is to encourage black female/white male couplings, to feature them in real life as well as in entertainment & pop culture and blog fiction/non-fics....if my encouragement are for those black women who were DENIED or dissuaded or degraded for choosing a non-bm partner OR for the black woman who's simply seeks to date/mate with white men ONLY because that is her choice...well then, this blog would only appeal to an est. 6% audience...thats IF i even reach that audience, being this is a brand new blog.

the other issue {per this discussion} was: why not include other ethnicities {like themselves, 1-asian, 1-latina, 2-white & moi} as gurls pointed out to me that "they" were NOT being represented on my blog...and that being that this blog is about seeking {specifically} white men, why would i exclude OTHER ethnic women from this forum? 

well!! my answer to that was simple...they can make their dang OWN { i know they already exist....but seriously}. i thought about it and i did appreciate their constructive criticism. there are many ethnic women who seek white men ONLY out of pure preference...this includes many races that are non-white {black, latin, greek, asian, arab, indian, native american indian, etc., etc...the list is HUGE}. 
soooooooo.....while im trying to perfect my blog here in its teeny infancy, should this blog {from here on out} represent women who PREFER white men...after all, this is about our choice AND our preference. but im not about to rename this blog {how to get a white man!} naawww.

so, give me some feedback...what do you think??


  1. Some sites with high readership (like various gossip sites) produce absolute garbage. Better that you have high quality material reaching a small group than a bunch of crap reaching the masses.

    The BWE/BWIR community is small and close-knit, so it won't be long before your blog starts getting visits from those folks who frequent the other, more established blogs. Don't worry about the size of the audience right now-the best blogs take time to grow and get a faithful fan following. My blog is still really small (around 15-20 visits a day, when I post at least twice a week.) But when I get comments, it's always so nice to read the encouragement and hear other's perspectives on certain issues. I'd rather not be so popular that I have a ton of opposers leaving me comments and sending hate e-mails. Keep blogging for the folks that YOU want to reach :)

    Now, about your lady friends who feel excluded . . . Where do I start? First and foremost, I understand that they believe that, as your friends, your site should be somewhere that they can enjoy and feel represented. Our friends hate feeling like we leave them out LOL! But, they must realize that this is a subject on which you (as a BW) can knowledgeably speak. You aren't a HW or an AW-their cultural background is something you know second-handedly, so it would probably be best for them to start their own forums that can use to express their particular concerns (gosh, I hope that doesn't sound mean!)

    Also, most ethnicities do not ostracize women who choose to marry WM. The only group that does this (to a great degree) is the AA community. Blogs that encourage BW/WM couplings are necessary-the women who choose these relationships need to know that they are not crazy self-haters who are obsessed with all things non-Black. Blogs like this exist because so many BW don't even know that they have options outside of BM, because the BC has spoon fed them lies and low expectation since infancy.

  2. THANK YOU, missglam!!! i TOLD THEM that this is to reflect MY experience and MY position on this subject, but they countered that if the underlying objective is dating/marrying white men, it could include OTHER women as well AND that it may also grow my audience. i was outnumbered in that tit-tat, but knew i was right...nah, nah, na-nah-nah!!! lol. once again, they WRONG! ;>

  3. Well said Miss Glamtastic.

    In general, BW are paid such little attention to. When we are in the spotlight, it's usually from a negative standpoint (whether it be fact or fiction). We also take quite the beating when it comes to opinions on attractiveness and beauty. We are often the odd girls left out of the equation in comparison to women from more "exotic" backgrounds. I have many male friends and not one has included or even considered a BW as a preference, but AW and LW without hesitation are frequently on the list. When a BW/WM beat the odds and are strong enough to stick together, there should be a support system in place as there is for other minorities who celebrate and place value on their unions with White males.

    The Black community needs to support interracial relations instead of protesting them. It's such a shame to see other cultures proudly assemble and work as a collective for the advancement of their people, when Black people work so hard to keep their own people down.

    It's really nice to have found a blog that solely speaks to BW and excludes women from other races. I can't stress how important it is to keep this blog "Black-centric". Black people need more positive avenues where we can turn to and reflect on us and the experiences we deal with in our lives. I'm more than confident that similar forums featuring women from different ethnic backgrounds exclude BW or pay less than little attention to them.

    Feel no shame or pressure and let your blog celebrate us!